Transitional
Posted by Margarita Navarrete-Hutchinson, LMT, LMTI on Thursday, August 20, 2020
Patient
Helpful
Appreciative
Transitional
Kind
Authentic
Transparent
This word-spell guides me.
I recognize it's been a bit since I posted in this sector; life has thrown us through loops.
We each adapt as best we can; that's part of practicing being "transitional."
Adapting to change is important; re-evaluating our expectations is necessary.
Expectations are basically opinions about how we each think we want the world/environment/parameters/individual that we are observing, at the moment, to be. If they fail to meet our opinion/expectation, then we are dissatisfied with *them.*
Yet, "they" have not personally done anything intentionally wrong to us; our opinion is thus the source of discomfort.
It's important to re-evaluate other's expectations of me; as in, they expect me to express my boundaries/needs, when I have them...which means NOT saying "yes," when we want to say, "no."
More energy is wasted (and damage is done) when we suppress our frustration at ourselves, for having made an agreement that we did not feel 100% confident we wanted to make. Even 1% of dissatisfaction will grow...fester...and by the time it expresses itself, it can be pretty darn nasty--and we tend to direct it outwardly...at whoever/whatever we made the agreement with.
I recognize that when I get angry with an individual, I cannot see the whole person anymore; and my spiteful mind seeks out every flaw and failed expectation...and magnifies them so I want to create separation between self and other..resulting in greater dissatisfaction--and eventually, conflict. The longer it takes to erupt, the more intense the blast.
The best way to avoid unnecessary conflict, is to honor our boundaries; and communicate them.
Our boundaries are the preferences that we are not willing to be flexible with; and they are subject to change over time, so it's preferable to regularly check-in with ourselves...we may not have recognized that our preferences shifted; the better we understand our current preferences and needs, the easier it will be to communicate them to others.
We can't very well express that which we are not present with, within ourselves, to anyone else; and we can't expect any one else to read our minds...nor be looking out for anyone else's best interest but their own.
Not from the sense that people are inherently selfish; simply that people are inherently human--and depending on the circumstances, nature/nurture programs, stress levels, and level of conscious awareness of how their choices affect those around them...well....it's impractical to expect *anything* from anybody else.
Having expectations is not terrible--I'm not saying to give up on them; our expectations express our preferences, as well as opinions--a preference is our opinion that we enjoy/appreciate a person/place/thing/experience.
Or maybe I am saying to give up "expectations..." ...and trade them for "preferences,' which are less demanding.
Life is short; some preferences are definitely boundaries--they remain inflexible; other preferences...are just that...and just because someone doesn't match our preference in some way or other, doesn't mean they don't have value, or that common ground can't be found.
It's preferable to practice being flexible; it's preferable to acknowledge that we can share presence, pleasantly, despite our different preferences and boundaries.
It takes practice.
Speaking of practice: I have officially shifted over from being a massage therapy provider, to an Elementally Functional Fitness provider. Technically it had already happened, when I stopped practicing massage therapy, and started making mobilization videos to occupy myself in way that I preferred....but I hadn't yet stumbled upon the title.
That is more recent...and with today's web-site over-haul--it's official.
Today I graduated from Invisalign to retainers.
Today my Dad made it to another year on this Earth.
Today I take on a new mantle.
Today I am Elementally Imperfectly FUNctional, for life.
Helpful
Appreciative
Transitional
Kind
Authentic
Transparent
This word-spell guides me.
I recognize it's been a bit since I posted in this sector; life has thrown us through loops.
We each adapt as best we can; that's part of practicing being "transitional."
Adapting to change is important; re-evaluating our expectations is necessary.
Expectations are basically opinions about how we each think we want the world/environment/parameters/individual that we are observing, at the moment, to be. If they fail to meet our opinion/expectation, then we are dissatisfied with *them.*
Yet, "they" have not personally done anything intentionally wrong to us; our opinion is thus the source of discomfort.
It's important to re-evaluate other's expectations of me; as in, they expect me to express my boundaries/needs, when I have them...which means NOT saying "yes," when we want to say, "no."
More energy is wasted (and damage is done) when we suppress our frustration at ourselves, for having made an agreement that we did not feel 100% confident we wanted to make. Even 1% of dissatisfaction will grow...fester...and by the time it expresses itself, it can be pretty darn nasty--and we tend to direct it outwardly...at whoever/whatever we made the agreement with.
I recognize that when I get angry with an individual, I cannot see the whole person anymore; and my spiteful mind seeks out every flaw and failed expectation...and magnifies them so I want to create separation between self and other..resulting in greater dissatisfaction--and eventually, conflict. The longer it takes to erupt, the more intense the blast.
The best way to avoid unnecessary conflict, is to honor our boundaries; and communicate them.
Our boundaries are the preferences that we are not willing to be flexible with; and they are subject to change over time, so it's preferable to regularly check-in with ourselves...we may not have recognized that our preferences shifted; the better we understand our current preferences and needs, the easier it will be to communicate them to others.
We can't very well express that which we are not present with, within ourselves, to anyone else; and we can't expect any one else to read our minds...nor be looking out for anyone else's best interest but their own.
Not from the sense that people are inherently selfish; simply that people are inherently human--and depending on the circumstances, nature/nurture programs, stress levels, and level of conscious awareness of how their choices affect those around them...well....it's impractical to expect *anything* from anybody else.
Having expectations is not terrible--I'm not saying to give up on them; our expectations express our preferences, as well as opinions--a preference is our opinion that we enjoy/appreciate a person/place/thing/experience.
Or maybe I am saying to give up "expectations..." ...and trade them for "preferences,' which are less demanding.
Life is short; some preferences are definitely boundaries--they remain inflexible; other preferences...are just that...and just because someone doesn't match our preference in some way or other, doesn't mean they don't have value, or that common ground can't be found.
It's preferable to practice being flexible; it's preferable to acknowledge that we can share presence, pleasantly, despite our different preferences and boundaries.
It takes practice.
Speaking of practice: I have officially shifted over from being a massage therapy provider, to an Elementally Functional Fitness provider. Technically it had already happened, when I stopped practicing massage therapy, and started making mobilization videos to occupy myself in way that I preferred....but I hadn't yet stumbled upon the title.
That is more recent...and with today's web-site over-haul--it's official.
Today I graduated from Invisalign to retainers.
Today my Dad made it to another year on this Earth.
Today I take on a new mantle.
Today I am Elementally Imperfectly FUNctional, for life.
Sharing tools that assist us, as we figure out the "Humanning," help us on the journey of life, together.
If my insights may be of service to others, I am grateful for the opportunity to share.
May they serve you well.
